Stop it by Starting it

I've done WW's, been to a dietician - they worked, but didn't work for me. See the thing is I know what's good for me. But I obviously live in a world of denial. I mean, why else could I watch BL and not KNOW that I was a candidate? How else could I gain 20 lbs in 6 mths. How else could I let this happen to myself, knowing full well that my family has bad DNA?

Seriously, how could I not know after my mother and my grandmother died of diabetes related complications. SERIOUSLY??

(note the tough love here)

Yes, my mother was 42 years old when she passed away. It's my subconscious fear. And yet I am defintely on the track to self destruction.

So how do I stop the resistance? Just start. And start again. And when you have an oops! Really start again.

I've restarted up with Spark. It's a tool a co-worker tuned me into almost 4 years ago. I didn't really get into it - I was doing WW at the time and that was really working for me.

But now with 3 kids, two getting into school activities, and hubby's work schedule is 12 days - there's no way I'll get to WW meetings consistently enough, and I know it was the accountability that made it work for me.

Spark has lots of great tools, and communities for just about everyone. Lots of good ways to stay accountable. I also found my co-worker (who has since moved on to another job). She's back in the saddle. That's a good thing, 'cause together we really kept on track.

So I have to stop this downward spiral, and that mean's starting again every day regardless of whether the day before went good or bad. Every day is a new day and a new opportunity to get healthier.

Easily Distracted

Yes world, I am easily distracted from my goals - which is why I am where I am today.

Shortly after my last post I got a knock me down cold that wouldn't give - a good two weeks, wouldn't give up kind of a cold. And with it my exercising got knocked off track and lost somewhere in the middle of no where.

Followed by a trip home (always my undoing) and a wedding. Well I was ready to get back on track - except then my kids got the flu - yeah, you know the one that everyone is freaking out about? - there went another two weeks and in that time my good eating habits? = non-existent.

Yes I'm easily distracted. It doesn't take much more than life itself to get me off track.

So...

Nothing like a good kick in the gut to get you going again. Had a few visits with the Dr's this week - to find out that the insulin resistance is intensifying - unfortunately the only consistent thing in my mini-drama - and all my other health complications are pretty much due to me being overweight and the insulin resistance.

Well, duh.

Only had to give 7 vials of blood, two visits with "specialists" and slap down some money on the counter to find that out huh? I know that from watching BL for heaven's sake!

Sorry - the sarcasm is getting a bit thick isn't it...

So I am sitting at my computer after doing 30 minutes on the treadmill, a portion of which I ran and felt like my lungs were going to explode - tired - but feeling not so bad - to confess to you all my brothers and sisters.

Ain't nothing and no one going to be able to help me, but me. And that's the honest truth.

Here we go again.

Weigh In 7

quick check in - down 2.2.

I guess I don't understand the human body any more than my dr's. Hmm..that's a bit sarcastic.

I'll take it!

Health Stuff

I went in for some blood work, an insurance requirement now - does anyone else find that to be a little scary? topic for a different kind of post.

Anyway, found out my cholesterol is down - like WAAY down. From 225 last year this time, to 170 - all the good and bad numbers (still figuring this out) were all good. So big YAY! Means something is going right.

What's not so good? My blood glucose of course! Still elevated into the pre-diabetic range, and my own morning readings have been higher than I've ever seen them, even when I was pregnant. Grrr!

Now I will proceed with a list of excuses - just to get it out:

1. I started doing the 30 day shred. 5 days in I stopped - because I was bit by a spider! Ok, go ahead, call me weak. But that thing hurt!! and I had this huge - lets just call it a thing because it was too gross to describe, on the back of my calf. Seriously people, I was practically limping. Crazy!! So a week later, the redness is almost gone and it isn't throbbing anymore. Man!
2. I have not been following my diet. Girlies started school this week, and getting them on a schedule got me totally OFF my schedule. I even forgot to take me supplements the first two days. I have felt so scattered, and I thrive on being in control - at least perceived control :)
3. I have a cold! It finally gets nice out and hubby is ACTUALLY off on a holiday weekend - and I woke up with a cold!! Totally stuffy head, earache, sore throat, runny nose - I think my chest is sore - kind of cold!

Can you hear the whining?

4. Apparently all my iron nail and OJ acid intake is taking a toll on my esophagus after 4 months, because I started having discomfort in my chest - I would say chest pains - cause that's more what it felt like, but I won't alarm you all. I started drinking a bottle of water right after the supplement mix and eased up off my other supplements, and it seemed to help - also stopped downing coffee about 1 hour after my liquid nails/OJ cocktail. I know! What am I doing to myself?

I know what you're thinking - what was the weigh in like - where is the weigh in? Well I was down 1.2 - go figure. My fat is probably still combobulating - lol that is NOT a word.

So I'm a big wimp. I will not be exercising tonight 'cause my head feels like it's going to explode. And my eating - well. I will focus on drinking lots of water and healthy stuff to shoo this cold and get back to working on improving me.

If you're still reading this - sorry for the rant & thanks for listening :)

Green Monster Smoothie

I've seen these around, and honestly thought they looked gross and dismissed them as some health freak, bitter green goop (sorry ya'll).

But after reading round the blogs and seeing the nutritional punch this smoothie has over at girl get strong, particularly the amount of iron in it - this iron deficient girl had to give it a go. And what do you know, I actually have all the ingredients on hand.

Now you do have to be a bit careful, 'cause though some of the variations out there sound yummy, make sure you calculate the nutritional info on these, some of them are HEFTY on the calories and fat - but then if you're a smoothie for a meal kind of person, this is likely right up your alley.

The one I found particularly reasonable in the ingredients and nutrition was from she-fit and goes like this:




1 frozen banana

1c 1% milk

2c spinach

1/2 c frozen blueberries

6 ice cubes

1 pkt stevia (or to taste)



This one has that green color, and is 224.8 cal, 42 carb, 3.2 fat, 4.2 fiber and 12% of your recommended iron intake, and only 4 WW points. But it made a nice batch so I had 1/2 after dinner and 1/2 for breakfast this morning. booyah!



I have to admit - it was pretty good. Now if I could get my kids to drink this stuff. They are on a green food boycott - yeah even the 18 month old - whatever. So I'll have to get a different variation for the kiddos - but if I can get them to take in some spinach or kale - yeah, I have to give it a go.

Weigh In 5

Not good. Major set back - I gained back the 2.4 that I had lost last week. This was a strange week. My blood sugars were high every morning, and I wasn't feeling good. Lots of eating out and no journaling at all two days. On Fridays we have movie night, and girls picked pizza for dinner- unfortunately so did I, old style.

Arghh - frustrated. This honesty/transparency thing is hard.

I have a busy fundraising week ahead at work (= extra long days & lots of food around) and then we head out to a family camp next weekend, so I really was hoping to at least maintain. But, looking over the week - can't really expect that when I know I had at least 3 days where I went over my calories.

But let's not completely focus on the negatives. My supplements/medications don't seem to be upsetting my stomach anymore, and the last two days my morning blood sugars look like they're coming back down. Found out my iron levels are coming up - slowly but surely - and I've been referred to an internist to deal with my apparent domino effect of health issues these past few months. Don't know if that last one qualifies as a positive, but I'm trying to remain hopeful that this Dr. will actually be able to get to the root everything.

I got a chance to try out the Jillian's 30 day shred yesterday - and heaven help me, I couldn't believe what looked so simple totally did shred my muscles. I got up this morning so sore. I'm thinking it works. I'll have to buy that DVD ..oh and a sports bra - jumping jacks are rough on a big girls goods!

Back to School Shopping

I love back to school shopping. Having two little girls - that could be trouble in years to come. In fact, this year I've already had a little taste of it.

Girlie 1 is going into 2nd grade and she's our little fashionista. Hubby and I joke that if we're ever not sure about an outfit of our own, we check with Girlie 1. She has great fashion sense and is a heartbeat ahead of trends. Yeah you remember those girls from your school days, I was not one of them.

Girlie 2 is developing her own style two and is ecstatically entering Kindergarten this fall.

The best thing about school shopping? It's NOT for me. Don't get me wrong, I'd love it to be for me, but years ago I finally gave up on the disappointing teary eyed fitting room saga's and just don't really shop. So sad.

It's been so long, that I really have no idea what my fashion style is - the last one that I can remember? Grunge. Yeah, how's that for dating myself. But let me tell you, I wore it well...once in a galaxy far far away.

Girlies can sport all the newest styles, and work the outfits .....it's awesome. So my non-health, completely self centered reason for getting healthy and losing weight....shopping for an outfit for the look and style rather than selecting from the muu-muu's on the 5 racks in the back of the store with the grandmas. *sigh*

Until then I dream...

Weigh In 4

Down another 2.4! That's pretty constant. Pretty amazing too considering I still have gaps in my journaling and haven't managed to get the ball rolling where exercise is concerned.

We were on a mini vacation this week and though ate horrible compared to what I have been doing at home. It wasn't the trough fest that vacations can become. Unfortunately for me, and maybe for him too, hubby has a crazy metabolism and is a food lover like me. So for him vacation = FOOD FOOD FOOD, and has been that way for me too.

So I guess I enjoyed myself, but didn't gorge, so I'll call it progress. I would like to see a 5 lb loss week at some point. But 2 lbs a week is pretty darn great, so no complaints. We trudge on.

Will focus on ramping up exercise. Still would like to do the 30 day shred - see so many others trying it.

Have a great week!

Weigh In 3

Yes 3. And I'm down 2.6 lbs! Hurry for me. I must admit I was a bit surprised. I missed a day or two of food journaling, and exercising was non-existent.

I didn't post weigh in 2. There had been no change - none. I had stuck to my workout that week. But I suppose considering I had been out of town staying with friends - and there were ooey gooey cinnamon rolls - yes I had one - it could have been worse.

As a self professed carbaholic I know that the key for me is sticking to whole grains and no more than 2-3 servings a day. As soon as I start eating anything white - pasta, rice - whatever, it's a struggle the rest of the day.

Yesterday was an issue all in itself - I became an almond FIEND, and let me tell you those things are not light in calories. So much for working in nuts - may have to stay away from those for a bit.

I truly believe my love affair with yogurt and fruit, like fresh melon and blueberries, has been the key to my success this week. When ravishing after work and before dinner - I snacked on slices of melon - which though felt like a trough fest - didn't have nearly the calories or spike in blood sugar I usually would consume on crackers or pretzels.

I am still debating whether I want to start cooking diabetic recipes or move toward whole food - organic whenever possible. Anyone have an opinion on this?

And I'm working the supplements, in a mean way. I still haven't felt up to par taking the OTC vitamins and my prescription iron supplement. I visited an organic nutrition store - and they recommended a couple things for me after I gave my whole history of what's been going on.

The supplements I was looking for were either liquid or highly soluble. I have to admit the basic vitamin which is this little cocktail thing which I can mix in with my morning OJ is very convenient. I've been taking 1/2 c of OJ each morning with my liquid iron, and trying to work in all the tablets throughout the day. Here is what I've been taking:

Multivitamin
Omega 3 Supplement
Metformin
Acidophilus
Ferrous Sulfate

I have never inhaled so many things in my life. But that - along with my previous awful, low nutrition diet - is probably why I have to do these things now.

Still hopeful that changing this weight will help alleviate some of my issues, and these supplements will help while I work to get there.

Next week we head out on a family getaway - there's the yummiest goodies at the resort we're staying at - not to mention our favorite vaca restaurants. Here's to re-programming vacation eating - wish me luck! And say a prayer while you're at it...

Do you know the muffin man?

In an attempt to use the plethora of blueberries we bought from a local farm, I have been making blueberry muffins this week. I tried two different recipes - well sort of. I am notorious for not following a recipe exactly if I don't have all the ingredients, or if I just think - that's odd.

The first batch was ok. The second batch was beautiful and yummy. But do you think I bookmark the recipe - or better yet, print it off and mark down my variations? Course not! So I'm doomed to forever dream of those blueberry muffins that I'll never recreate. Ahh well.

So on the diet front - the muffins may be bringing me down. They were low glycemic recipes - but with my variations and substitutions - not so sure. Otherwise, am doing well - working in the protein/fruitveg/grain variations well.

Have also been recording and watching old Biggest Loser episodes for motivation.

As for actually exercising - well, I'm still recovering from my overdoitweekend and subsequent gardening palooza that followed on Monday. My calves and hamstrings are still very sore. So big zero there. But I still have a few hours this evening - so there's still time to change that.

My goal is to do 3 mile walks at least 3 x per week. There was a very appealing walking plan in the Women's Day magazine that I received today, and HEY! it starts out with 3 mile walks. Coincidence? I think not! :)

Weigh In 1

On July 5th I started a food log, using WWs point system.

I realized that it was 4 years ago that I first went to WW and had great success losing 25 lbs over that first summer. Since then I've gone way off track, had a baby and as you see here in this blog have basically had some health issues ever since that birth. My body never really went back to usual, albeit an unhealthy "normal". My baby is now 18 months - and well after pregnancy, health issues, my surgery this past spring to deal with what seems to be PCOS symptoms...I've found those 25 lbs and then some - horrible.

After my Biggest Loser realization the other night, I've been supercharged. I've had good and bad days since July 5th. But yesterday really rocked. I did the whole 4-3-2-1 system and logged points. Then while the baby napped - I did 1-1/2 hrs of exercise !!- 1 hr of cardio and 1/2 hr of resistance and toning. It felt awesome.

So today I weighed in - I'm down 2 lbs! That's encouraging. I'm hoping that staying on this track day after day - and not sporadically like this month has been so far - I will see bigger results the next few weeks.

Hurray for me!

Reality Sets In

My hubby joined a Biggest Loser group at work. He's slightly overweight but is one of those people that has an incredible metabolism, or has anyway his first 37 years. So he can basically cut the grass one day and drop 5 lbs.

Anyway, he has been telling me these amazing stores - like the guy who walks 3 miles EVERY day and is down 42 lbs after 6 weeks. It seems he just gave up regular soda and eating after 8pm.

So I tell myself, for the 20th time at least, that if these people can so can I! I started watching past episodes of the biggest loser as well. Last night I watched a special edition where two restaurant families competed.

Ok, here is where reality sets in. I've never watched the show, but when I have, all these people have weighed like 250, 300, 400. On this particular episode watching the initial weigh ins, I realized. Some of these people weigh less than I do.

Suddenly all the comments they were making about how the weight was taking decades off their lives, the health risks....all of it hit me hard. Real hard.

I'm obese. My BMI is currently 38.6. The highest of my life. I am out of control. I need to lose 55 lbs to just inch into the overweight category.

I had to say it. I have to see it. It is why for the past 6 months, the health impacts have become apparent. My body is telling me it can't be this way. It is giving up.

So since the Biggest Loser has helped me to this realization, I've been doing a little research.

It's entire 4-3-2-1 approach is conducive to an insulin resistant diet. Here it is, simplified by moi, so that it is written on my brain:

4 servings fruits/vegetables - no white potatoes, limited squash, corn is a grain!
3 servings of proteins - beans, LF dairy, 95% lean cuts, fish, white meat
2 servings of whole grains - at least 2g fiber, less than 5g sugar
1 serving extras - 200 cal of salad dressings, oils, LF PB, mayo, avoc, nuts, seeds

There's no choice. This is life or death now. I'm thinking I'll chose life.

Doing time

So 20 - 30 minutes of exercise after a meal can help you burn excess glucose in the blood. That's a very good thing. That means that in an insulin resistant body, it doesn't get turned into fat, and gives your liver a break from taking in too much glucose, using excess glucose for energy needed when you exercise.

That is my goal. To get in the 20-30 minutes of exercise recommended 3 x's per week. It's not a lot, I know...but tell my body that. I've been using my sorely neglected treadmill, doing the trainer 20-30 minute programs and wow.

The first time my knee told me how upset it has been carrying all this extra weight. It sure did protest. Then I had a tift with endurance. But I've been holding out. The burn feels good. And yes it takes some major effort to move this momma.

Ever have that moment when you catch a glimpse of yourself unexpectedly and realize that momma hasn't been taking care of herself like she should. Yes. Momma needs to make momma a priority which is tough sometimes.

Like tonight. My kids are use to me taking center stage in the bedtime routine. But it got a bit late, and if I was going to work in my nightly walk, daddy was going to have to take over the bedtime duties alone tonight. The kiddos protested. But it was important - long term kind of important.

So bonus points for me for getting 2 of the 3 done this week. Next week - ramping up to 4/5 days - cause I have lots of work to do to stop the resistance!

oh good ...it was just some bad beef

My Dr prescribed metformin which is a medicine which is used to help bring down insulin levels and help keep blood sugar normal. It makes your body more sensitive to insulin, so it doesn’t have to make as much. That's a good thing for me - while I work on taking care of my weight issue which is a big negative factor.

I first took it with dinner the other evening, and not more than 4-5 hours later I began to feel nauseous, have stomach pains, gurgling, abdomen pain and yes, the big D.


So of course I check the possible side effects for this stuff and there it all is, all possible side effects. Really??? I distinctly remembering him saying that this was a very low dose and it was very unlikely that I would be affected that way.


What am I a sponge?

It was an awful night,and I was useless the next day - exhausted, still feeling bad, and very much wanting to stay within 5 feet of a bathroom.

So to my relief, and this is almost mean, my hubby came home with all the same symptoms. It seems he had some leftover burgers for lunch. They were from the same batch I had for dinner that night!! What a relief.

After some extensive reading -I've found that most of the symptoms I've been experiencing and that have basically kicked my butt the last 6-8 months, are completely due to this insulin resistance. We've spent the last 5 months dealing with the symptoms and not the source.

So I SOOO want to deal with the source, and while I def don't want the medication to be my long term solution, if it can give me a head start and keep some of the symptoms from ...kicking my BUTT, then I figure I'll have a chance to get myself up, dust myself off and get a hold of these things.

And in other news.. I did my walking today, took my supplements ...and did my food journal. And while it wasn't GREAT, it was a lot better than what I know has been going on - despite my previous denial.

As time progresses I plan on sharing new recipes, menus, exercise, and weight DECREASES - now that's a statement of faith!

Stop the Resistance

Insulin Resistance

It's a term I've heard most of my adult life. Something that I thought was synonomous with pre-diabetes or prone to diabetes, and although it's very much related and even a part of, can completely wreak havoc to someone's life before any of that diabetic stuff technically takes off.

In the last 6 months I have been fatigued, depressed, had hair loss, unusual menstrations - related surgery, nausea, have dealt with daily anxiety - well let's just say my mind and body has been protesting and I've strugged to function daily.

I few months back the doctors found that my iron stores were extremely low and I've been on a supplement now. But after three months, I still was strugging with the same symptoms. So this week I saw the endocrinologist, not a stranger to me since I've had to see one during each pregnancy dealing with gestational diabetes. But this time we talked about treating my insulin resistance.

???

That was new to me. I mean they always mentioned it during my pregnancy, but I didn't think it was something that could be treated. I just always assumed it was just this telltale thing that was warning me that one day I would have to deal with diabetes - type 2.

Could this be the source of my problems? So I've been researching, reading, learning - and was surprised to find forums of people telling their stories that were SO similar to my experience, if not exact.

So what is this blog? It's my story. It's my journal to vent, to document everything I'm learning, to keep me accountable - to measure progress.

'Cause I have to take this by the horns and get through this, to be better than this. If you're reading this, have gone through this, or just curious - you are so welcome to follow me on this journey.